Monday, February 21, 2011

Great Expectations


Lately I've been thinking about what being married means.  Having a talk with my mother last week really made me start to think.  Don't get me wrong - I know what kind of man my Char is, and inshaAllah I will get to know his family, but what I hadn't thought about, for the most part, was the day-to-day practical things.  Just because Char and I will be so happy to finally be together inshaAllah, doesn't mean that our bellies won't need filling.  Just because we'll be all laughs and kisses for a while doesn't mean our clothes won't need washing or our home won't need cleaning.  These things seem like they don't matter, but the are, in fact, just as basic as a couple's ability to communicate.  There are things that I am not accustomed to.  I rarely make my bed, I don't cook, and I've never had to do much cleaning.  I wasn't raised with chores.  But this week, a lot has changed.

You would think that it would be common sense to realize a fairy tale wedding does not a fairy tale marriage make.  In theory, I know that.  In reality, it just made a dent in my thick head.  So I've finally realized how important it is to get into the habit of things like dusting and cleaning the bathroom and, yes, making daal.  Into habits like tidying and picking up things that are out of place.  Being wifely.  I know!  It sounds crazy, and some might say it's backwards and oppressive.  But honestly, I can't see it that way.  It's simply a desire to keep a good home for myself and, inshaAllah, for my future husband.

I have a friend, O, with whom I like to think I'm becoming closer.  MashAllah, she's a great sister with a strong sense of self and solid values.  And she's happily married for just over two years.  And her husband happens to be friends with my Char.  This weekend, while Banana Anne and I went to O's for dinner, the boys had their own night in.  ( :  She has been a great support for me through the last eight months, and this weekend was no different.  She gave me her experienced insight into a married woman's home life, and I am very grateful.  Discussing cleaning habits, and about learning to compromise, and how to Islamically handle home finance was comforting and useful.  I am truly blessed to have a friend like her.

Something else of note: I made red velvet cupcakes and cake, with cream cheese frosting, from scratch!  The recipe is from Chef Google, so I won't bother posting it.  But this is how they turned out.




No comments:

Post a Comment