Homeward Bound

Salaam.
My goodness.  I can't seem to regularly update the blog at all!
So, yes, I'm homeward bound.  My family and I drove to Chicago to attend a family friend's daughter's holud and wedding.  She looked beautiful, mashAllah.  And Alhamdulillah she seemed very happy.  The bride and groom were aglow, laughing and smiling with each other.  InshaAllah one day I, too, will feel as she does.
We had a long drive through New Jersey.  No, I have not met or seen Snookie.... d:
What to write about?  An acquaintance of mine got married a few months ago.  She had a small nikkah with family.  I was disappointed while going through her pictures on Facebook because while I saw the groom's parents, and her father, an Imam, officiating, I did not see her mother.  I can only imagine how hurt she felt that her mother didn't attend.  (I assume that her mother could have gone.)  It is as likely as not that I'm projecting, but I'd hope that my mother would help plan and attend my wedding, whether she wholly approved of the man or not.  As long as he's a practicing Muslim and makes me happy, I like to think she'd at least fake it for a day or two.  Ionno.  Maybe that's asking too much.  Allahu 'alim.
June fourteenth, two thousand and eleven.  That was my one-year anniversary, Alhamdulillah.  <3
This post is turning out to be just as marriage-minded as the others!  Oh well.  The Chicago wedding was the first of many this summer.  I think I've mentioned this before, actually. Anyway, let the matrimony begin!  Haha!
Today's soap box topic: gay marriage.  Personal feelings aside, I've mentioned Islam's viewpoint on homosexuality before.  To recap, it is natural to feel attraction to the same sex and forbidden to act upon those feelings.  I don't know about Judaism, but from what I understand of Christianity, the same applies.
In a nation that supposedly was built on the separation of church and state, it is literally unthinkable that gay marriage would be illegal.  The social rite, marriage, is given by the state government, and is made official by a marriage certificate.  A marriage does not mean "happened in a place of worship."  You don't believe in it?  Fine.  Attend a church that won't perform them.  You think marriage is something that happens in a place of worship?  Lobby for all couples, queer and breeder, to be given civil union licenses.  Get the word removed from government use.  You have no right to stop any other people from getting married, when it is state-given.  You don't have to agree with it, but it is, at the least, every person's right in this country.
And don't give me nonsense about religion being used to make laws.  No.  I'm calling you on your bullshit.  Almost everyone (I'm not counting sociopaths) has an innate sense of what's right and what's wrong, what's "good"and what's "bad."  Being a secular state doesn't change the fact that murder is wrong and should be punishable.  If the Commandment didn't exist, you'd still know you shouldn't kill people; you just wouldn't know it's punishable by Hell. 
You don't think the nation should make it legal? Tough. Suck it up. America was founded on certain principles. Stick to them, or get out.
xoxo

New Beginnings

Salaam.

Friends, my sincerest apologies for not updating over the last month and a half.  InshaAllah I'll try to do better.  Things have been kind of hectic, but are settling down.  I have so much to share with you.

Firstly, I've hit the big two-five!  Yeah, I'm super old.  Okay, okay, not really old haha, but a year older, and inshaAllah a year wiser.  I spend the week celebrating among friends, one of whom hosted a party for me at her place.  It was intimate and amazing fun.

Second news:  I've joined the real world!  I have just finished my first month of my first real job.  Alhamdulillah!  The job search was short, sweet, and successful.  I've taken a Lab Associate position with a small start up near the city called Boston MicroFluidics (BMF).  I'm owrking on a project to develop a new rapid test for the detection of common STIs at home.  The founder B, and his best friend K, are my boss and supervisor, respectively.  Yup, there are only three of us in the lab.  They are in their late twenties, really intelligent, and incredibly funny.  Alhamdulillah it is a good fit for me, professionally, intellectually, and socially.  And to top it all off, I work close enough to Char's school that we can regularly have lunch together!

Char and I have had to readjust our plans.  Whereas we had hoped to be able to make our relationship official soon, it seems that the more responsible move is to wait until he is more stable in his income.  If we have learned one thing from our previous mistake (however sweet and romantic), it's that these things cannot be rushed.  To think so is naive.  His being further along in his education, and my having financial independence, are two ways to make sure neither family has an argument.  While being separate this way will be difficult, we will support each other through the tougher times and inshaAllah this proves to be the better decision in the long run.

There's one last thing I'd like to ramble on about.  The view of homosexuality that the general population of Muslims hold.  For starters, this is not a problem that is unique to Muslims.  Islam's view of homosexuality is straightforward, and yet many people seem to be confused or uneducated on the topic.  The short answer is that acting on homosexuality is forbidden, but the feelings are completely natural.  It is, as many aver, how Allah made you.  Being queer or questioning isn't haraam in and of itself.  That's the first part of my qualm with our community on this topic.  The other part is worse.  You don't believe homosexuality is real?  Fine.  But one of the most beautiful parts of Islam is its preaching of tolerance.  Its teachings of the Golden Rule and how to behave.  Where have we come as an Ummah, when all we do is judge others based on what we perceive and treat them not as they were meant to be treated, as human beings?

xoxo

Great Expectations

Salaam.

Lately I've been thinking about what being married means.  Having a talk with my mother last week really made me start to think.  Don't get me wrong - I know what kind of man my Char is, and inshaAllah I will get to know his family, but what I hadn't thought about, for the most part, was the day-to-day practical things.  Just because Char and I will be so happy to finally be together inshaAllah, doesn't mean that our bellies won't need filling.  Just because we'll be all laughs and kisses for a while doesn't mean our clothes won't need washing or our home won't need cleaning.  These things seem like they don't matter, but the are, in fact, just as basic as a couple's ability to communicate.  There are things that I am not accustomed to.  I rarely make my bed, I don't cook, and I've never had to do much cleaning.  I wasn't raised with chores.  But this week, a lot has changed.

You would think that it would be common sense to realize a fairy tale wedding does not a fairy tale marriage make.  In theory, I know that.  In reality, it just made a dent in my thick head.  So I've finally realized how important it is to get into the habit of things like dusting and cleaning the bathroom and, yes, making daal.  Into habits like tidying and picking up things that are out of place.  Being wifely.  I know!  It sounds crazy, and some might say it's backwards and oppressive.  But honestly, I can't see it that way.  It's simply a desire to keep a good home for myself and, inshaAllah, for my future husband.

I have a friend, O, with whom I like to think I'm becoming closer.  MashAllah, she's a great sister with a strong sense of self and solid values.  And she's happily married for just over two years.  And her husband happens to be friends with my Char.  This weekend, while Banana Anne and I went to O's for dinner, the boys had their own night in.  ( :  She has been a great support for me through the last eight months, and this weekend was no different.  She gave me her experienced insight into a married woman's home life, and I am very grateful.  Discussing cleaning habits, and about learning to compromise, and how to Islamically handle home finance was comforting and useful.  I am truly blessed to have a friend like her.

Something else of note: I made red velvet cupcakes and cake, with cream cheese frosting, from scratch!  The recipe is from Chef Google, so I won't bother posting it.  But this is how they turned out.

Cake!

 OmNomNomNom!

Cupcakes!!

xoxo

Freak Whirlwind (part 2)

Salaam.

Sunday, June 13
I opened my email to find that Char had sent me a Facebook-friend request.  From what I'd gathered about him from S, I was under the impression that he was usually unsearchable and so only did friending himself.  So he reached out to me!

I got very excited to see the request, flailed a little (or a lot!) then accepted.  I posted on this wall, he commented, and thus began our conversation.  We move to GChatting, and talked til 1am.  About all sorts of random things - pigeons (his research), sports (rugby), soda (Coke vs Pepsi).  We flirted cautiously, talking about my parent-made biodata (he later admitted he was testing the friend-zone), and how my mother tongue is very important to me, leading to him asking me how to say something in Bangla.  He even suggested that we go see a movie - in a group.  The sneaky bugger!  By the end, I had his number, and a growing hope that he was interested.

xoxo