And Off We Go!!

Salaam.

Two thousand and twelve.  And it's already February!  Crazy, right?  I have these faded memories of October 1990.  A baby brother being born, my mom staying in the hospital overnight.  And now it's just over twenty one years later and that tiny little baby with the giant head is graduating college in four months, inshaAllah.  And he's kickin' ass and takin' names.  He doesn't know exactly how proud of him I am, but I hope he knows in his heart that I am.

I have a LONG overdue shout out to this amazing lady for her delicious peanut butter blossoms earlier this year (although I'm not she knows she gave me some!).  I have added them to my growing list of things I want to bake.  Here are some of the treats I've made (and not posted):

Slice of TURTLE CHEESECAKE (recipe below)

NY style cheesecake decorated with kiwi, strawberries, and mango!

OREO-STUFFED CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES, from my girl at Savory Edibles.

After all that delicious food-stuffs, let me say that the gym is.....well, it's going.  I'm still going, and I even got myself a trainer.  My biggest problem, as it is with lazy people, is self-motivation.  So Rich is kicking my (soon-to-be-muscular-and-toned!) behind with the weight machines, and it's on me to do cardio regularly.  Today, my legs refuse to cooperate with me.  I'm pretty sure my jeans are a tiny bit loose, but I don't want to jinx anything.  

I never thought I'd say this, even though everyone I know said it.  I want to go back to school.  I've enrolled in an Immunology course at the graduate level, partly because it's interesting and partly because for fun.  So far, I haven't been disappointed.  Class actually energizes me, even though it ends at 7:30pm!  I've found that learning about the complement pathways and how they play their parts in an innate immune response fascinates me.  Damn, right.  I am a nerd.

To end on a sappy note: I had an amazing Valentine's Day.  Last year, the date marked eight wonderful months together.  This year, one year stronger, we celebrated.  An early dinner at Legal Sea Foods and then time spent in each others' arms.  আমি ওকে অনেক ভালবাসি. 

The promised recipe:

- 2 cups crumbled chocolate graham crackers

- 6 tbsp melted margarine

- 14oz caramels

- 50z can evap. milk

- 1 cup chopped pecans (can be toasted)

- 16oz cream cheese, softened (2 pkg)

- 1/2 cup sugar

- 1tsp vanilla (I always add extra!)

- 2 large eggs

- 1/2 cup special dark chocolate chips

1. Combine crumbs and margarine well, and press into the bottom of a 9-in spring-form pan.  Bake at 350 for 10min.
2. In a saucepan, melt caramels with milk over low heat until smooth.  Pour over crust.
3. Top with chopped pecans.  Refrigerate for 20min.
4. Combine cream cheese, sugar and vanilla until well-blended.
5. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well.
6. Pour mixture over pecans.  Bake at 350 for 40min.
7. Loosen spring-form.  Allow to cool for 15min before removing.
8. Top as you please!  I drizzled (heavily) caramel and chocolate, and added more pecans!

xoxo

Prime-Numbered Months

Salaam.

BMF is fast becoming intolerable.  I mean, I dealt with, if poorly, the working conditions of myself and my coworker.  But it got even worse.  My bosses made a rude accusation of lateness with no basis because they didn't bother to look into it.  And when I told them they were incorrect about my tardiness, they didn't apologize; worse, they tried to explain to me why I was overreacting.  I refuse to work for people who can't admit and apologize when they are wrong, rude, and offensive.  Their managerial skills have gotten from bad to worse to unbearable.
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Salaam.

I wrote the above portion in November.  Since then, things have changed.  My coworker was let go, due to her "working style not meshing" with their "management style."  What management style?!  And the worst thing is, in the last two weeks, their behavior towards me has changed drastically.  Suddenly I'm getting compliments and encourage on and with my work, instead of snide remarks.  Suddenly being late once in a while is not a problem.  Suddenly I am appreciated.  And you know what?  It's nice.  But it's crap.  I don't think it's right that they made that huge change and then seem to act like nothing has happened.  I have to get out.

I had an interview at the beginning of the month.  I think I mentioned it?  Anyway, the job is in the smallest US state, and inshaAllah I'll hear from them tomorrow or Wednesday.  I hope it's good news.  I have the perfect present to celebrate!  ...Or to console myself.  I just bought a new blue patent leather wallet from Cole Haan.  It's amazing.  I've been lusting after it for months and it went on sale, yay!

So in honor of the final wedding of the year, I started going to the gym.  Kind of regularly, even.  Two to four times a week.  Shush, it's a start.  Anyway!  No loss in numbers yet, but I'm just going to say it's a slow start.  ( :  So some of the brownies and I leave this Thursday for Atlanta!  The mendhi is that night and I don't know if we'll make it.  I still have to pack, but I think I can manage to finish by then, haha!

On to the important things.  The fourteenth of December marked sixteen months together, making January month number seventeen.  While we have stopped celebrating every month since one year, we thought it would be fun and quirky to have a little commemoration on the prime-numbered months, as a dedication to us and our supreme nerdiness.  I'm not talking about fancy dinners or presents, but just a little extra time for ourselves, and maybe a nice date night!  I love that he and I are as sappy as we are together.

Tonight's topic is patience.  Sabr.  Something that struggle with.  I'm a bit of a diva, and I can have a short-temper.  Not only is it quickly becoming a bad habit to be angry, it is starting to cause problems.  I have managed to make my dearest Char feel under-appreciated.  I know.  Him!  The perfect gentleman who loves me with me his whole heart.  This past weekend, he drove six hours to spend time with me, and because I hadn't heard from him that day I was angry.  The truth is, he spent much of earlier in his day with his friends.  I knew he was busy, and I was only angry because I thought he would have let me know that he was setting off from where he was and if he hadn't it meant he lost track of time.  I called a couple of times and he didn't pick up.  I figured he was still with his friends, because he doesn't usually pick up when he's with people.  I thought he forgot.  I felt justified.  Still, knowing now how hurt he was, I feel terrible.  I could have just asked what happened.  I could have just said that I was scared he forgot.  We would have talked things over, as we eventually did, and it would have been fine.  But instead I caused an unnecessary drama.  One thing I'm slowly (slowly, slowly) learning is that I have to control my anger and frustration because sometimes it isn't justified, even if I feel that it is.  I have to learn to stay calm and have patience.  I am very lucky; I have someone who understands this fault of mine and is very patient himself.  He guides me and helps me understand, and for that I thank him and Him, subhanAllah.  But the thing to realize is that not acknowledging this problem, and worse, not working to change, is what is going to cause the real damage.  The man in my life, is extraordinary.  Not everyone's partner is like that.  But whether or not s/he is, once you've gotten over the hump and changed for the better, that person isn't going to remember the past.  If you don't, your partner can never forget.

xoxo

First of Many, inshaAllah

Salaam.

Again, it's been too long.  My apologies.  I think I find it hard to regard the thought that someone might read this, seriously.  C'est la vie.  This time I'm putting update reminders in my planner, so that at least I remember that I want to update weekly.  Baby steps, right?  Right.

So let's have some updates, shall we?

Our month, but actually less, apart was terrifying, heart-wrenching and over nearly as soon as it started.  Alhamdulillah, I am not on a break with my dearest, and we are stronger, together, now.

I made one random fabulous meal in the last four months.  Okay so really it was a single pasta dish.  Whole wheat penne topped with lemon-garlic shrimp and aspargus.  This was my second time making it, and the improvement shows, believe me!

I'm still working at BMF, though not for lack of trying.  I've only had one interview so far.  The only place that has actually gotten back to me.  But!  I could be trying harder, so IA I', starting to be more proactive.  On that note, I hope to take the GREs soon, (any and all advice is welcome!) and will be enrolled in a class in the coming Spring semester.  I'm pretty excited about the class!

Oh, BMF.  Really, really really a terrible place to work, it turns out.  KD and I help each other along, though I fear she will soon find greener pastures, and I will be left to fend for myself.  If that happens, I've decided that I need to go in earlier a few days a week and have breakfast at home (with Char) the other couple of days.  Then, I can leave early or take lunch with Char as I please.

And so we are brought to the matrimonial segment of our program.  Apart from the Chicago wedding, five of my friends got married this summer.  Two girls I've known since childhood, one of my Wellesley little sisters, my adopted Wellesley little brother, and my dear friend AJ, from W, who met her now wife while we were in school.  They had a simple and beautiful ceremony on the Cape, during which I and our third musketeer, SL, recited from our respective Book.  The reception following was amazing.  There were W women I hadn't seen in ages, and of course the brides looked stunning.  Char came with me, and I think we were the second happiest couple there.  Not to mention the only brownies and only Muslims.  We got a lot of thank-you-for-comings and your-recitation-was-beautifuls.  Basically, a bunch of oldies from the Cape trying to show their open-mindedness.  It was cute.  Then there were the random people taking our photo, from posed to candid. That was a bit weird.  Anyway.  There was the engagement party in Long Island for my friend Tulip.  This past weekend, my girl Tina and her Irishman had their wedding reception in Beantown (this was one of the weddings in Bangladesh!).  Later this month, my good friend Tmoney is having her engagement party, though her betrothal was announced at the end of Ramadan.  And finally!  Pri, down in the ATL.  Her papers are signed but the big shindig is over the New Years break.  A big finale to a year with a ridiculous number of nuptials attended.

And just for fun, a funky cat with THUMBS!

xoxo

Life Without

Salaam.

July first.  Today's the first day.  Life without Char cannot be described in only one word.  But one of the things that it is?  Heartbreaking.  It's been nearly 24 hours since I've had any word from him, or he from me.  Every time I think to text him that single '<3' to make him smile, I can't.  When I want to call him and hear his voice to calm my heart, I can't.  When I hope to see him because I need to be held, I can't.  Our time apart is a mutual decision, but that makes it no less difficult, no easier to bear.  I don't want to get into the details of it, but I may need to vent here over the next few weeks.


More later, another time, inshaAllah.


xoxo